Dang These Manuals!
by Dogsrule
Summary: Here's another one! But is a dogsrule version! Based off of LolliDictator's Hetalia manuals.
1. The British? well, They're here!

**Dang These Manuals!**

Welp, got bored, and since I already fell for the letter story bandwagon why not a manual fic one too!

_**England's manual:**_ _http: / /www. fanfiction. net/s /5887695/1/ARTHUR_KIRKLAND_User_Guide_and_Manual_

Don't own. Seriously, I don't if I did I would have the Hetalia units be real…because I WANTS ONE!

* * *

><p>"Marukaite Chikyuu Marukaite Chikyuu Marukaite Chikyuu boku Hetalia!" I sang along with the video as I played around on the computer.<p>

I stopped when I brought the new window up. "OOOH! Yay! Look Sadie! A link for America and England's duet version of Marukaite Chikyuu!" I told the boxer who was laying on the bed with me.

So being the otaku I was I naturally clicked the link and downloaded the song, but when the download was complete another window popped up too.

In big letters it said: "CONGRATULATIONS! WE WILL BE SENDING YOUR FIRST 'HETALIA' UNIT SHORTLY" with a picture of England underneath it. Writing it off as just a normal pop-up I deleted it, wiped my history (cuz I'm very paranoid), and went back to what I was doing.

A few days later I came home from college and found a huge box in front of my house. Acting catiously I inched up to the box and looked at it. Sure enough it was addressed to me, and for some reason there was a sticker on the box with Flying Mint Bunny that said "The Flying Mint Bunny Shipping Company." Then I saw a folder on top (which I grabbed). I opened to find some manual with the title: "ARTHUR KIRKLAND: User Guide and Manual". '_Huh? Weird'_ I thought as I started reading through it. I started to read out loud:

"Removal of your ARTHUR KIRKLAND Unit from your ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit is generally quite simple, but if he was jostled during shipment it could be harder. We have provided this list of failsafe ways to wake your unit, jostled or not, which will not result in you missing any body parts at the end. Your unit tends to make a lot more assumptions than he should, which might result in some terrifying moments while getting him up, but don't worry - he won't really hurt you, unless you're a FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit."

"Yep! I don't want to be mauled by a random England. So let's see I could set a plate of hamburgers in front of the box…I'd love to see that one but we don't have red meat in the house. Guess the only option is to play the Star-Spangled Banner since we don't have alcohol in the house , I don't know how to cook French or Spanish food, I don't want to be ripped apart limb by limb, and I have no clue what Saving Grace is."

So I brought my laptop out of my backpack and brought up the Star-Spangled Banner on YouTube. After bring the volume to the highest it can go I set it down in front of the box and pushed play.

Almost instantly from inside the box came a shout of "Damnit Alfred! Turn that Damn racket down!" Then the box broke into tons of small pieces as Arthur Kirkland broke out.

He looked around for a second before he saw me.

"Oh! Terribly sorry for my behavior a second ago. I am Arthur Kirkland AKA England, and what's your name?" He asked.

"Uh…Marie Brown" I stuttered after all is it every day you meet one of your favorite anime characters?

"I'm very pleased to meet you Marie. So is this your house?" He asked.

"Well's it's my parents' house. I just live here."

Then we both went inside and were instantly greeted by a wiggly boxer, who was all over Arthur.

"Sadie, can you move so he can get up the stairs? You're not a door or a window, MOVE!"

Arthur laughed and said, "She seems very affectionate. What's her name?"

"Oh her name's Sadie. She's a boxer, you know one of Germany's breeds."

"Yes, I'm familiar with the breed. Now are you hungry? I can fix you something if you want?" he asked.

My face paled the instant he said that. Anyone who's seen Hetalia knows you DO NOT let him in the kitchen! Or else you will very well likely end up with food poisoning.

"Uh, no! That's okay we have so left-over barbeque chicken I can heat up."

He sighed and replied, "Pity. I guess I can have you sample my cooking at a later date."

"Yeah, and then end up six feet under." I muttered under my breath.

"My Cooking DOES NOT kill people! Have you been talking to Alfred or Francis at all?"

_Damn his Vulcan hearing! _I thought. Out loud I said, "Nope! I haven't, but would be cool though! Talking to Alfred would definitely help with getting better cosplay material!"

He stared at me and said, "Wait! Cosplay as in Kiku's cosplay? Where you dress up like a character and ACT just like that character?"

"Uh, yeah. My America cosplay outfit is sitting in my closet right now."

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you that you would want to act just like Alfred?"

"Nothin's wrong with me! I can cosplay as my own country if I want to!" I said as I glared at him.

"Wait! Your own country…that means that you're an American?"

"Uh, dude I think it's kinda obvious."

He groaned and said, "Great you are an American. Only an American would talk like that."

"Whatever! If you excuse me. It's been a long day of classes and I needs sleep. Good night Iggy!"

"DON'T CALL ME IGGY!"

"Why not? It's a Prussia Awesome nickname!" Then I ran into my room and narrowly avoid a pillow to the face.

As I was lying in bed I looked at the boxer (who was sleeping on top of me, OW!) and said, "welp, boxer. Looks like everything's changin' now!"

* * *

><p>AND CHAPTER END! Hehe, Iggy's fun to get mad! XD<p>

Review please! They're Prussia Awesome! (I'm working on the copyright for that phrase.)


	2. Americans, Canadians, and Italians OH MY

WOW! 1 review and fav, and 3 alerts in the first day! AWESOME! Grazie people!

And **cross-over-lover232**, no worry! Good cooks are coming soon!

_**America's manual:**_ _http: / www. fanfiction .net/s /6547042/1/ALFRED_F_JONES_User_Guide_and_Manual_

_**Canada's manual:**_ _http: / www. fanfiction .net/s /6414119/1/MATTHEW_WILLIAMS_User_Guide_and_Manual_

_**Italy's manual:**_

_http: / www. fanfiction .net/s /6233405/1/FELICIANO_VARGAS_User_Guide_and_Manual_

Don't own…still want a Hetalia unit…

* * *

><p>The next day I woke up I was greeted by a burning smell coming from the kitchen.<p>

I quickly ran in to find Arthur wearing an apron and standing there holding a plate of burnt…something.

"…what is that?" I asked.

"Well I was looking around your kitchen and I found this little brown box full of recipes. So I decided to try one."

"…you used one of MAMUA'S RECIPES?"

Let's just say that he's NEVER doing something like that again.

When we got back from taking Sadie to the park (and hitting up McDonald's on the way back which Arthur ranting about how bad it is and how I'm going to kill myself and Sadie because of it.) there were three large boxes sitting in front of the door.

"What kind of company sends three things like this at the same time?" I asked.

"I don't know. Anyway do you know who it is?"

"Uh…let me check." Then I went over and started looking through the manuals.

"Well it's FELICIANO VARGAS, Yay Italy!...MATTHEW WILLIAMS, Canada!"

When I mentioned Canada Arthur asked, "Who?"

"Oh you know the big landmass above the country you're now in. And you actually raised him for a few years and..."

"Fine! No need to act like that. Now who's in the last one?"

I looked at the manual and then looked at Arthur and smirked, "ALFRED F. JONES."

"….Bloody hell! Not him." Then he started ranting while I looked through Alfred's manual.

"Hey Iggy! Come over here and start talking loudly to the box!"

"WHY ME?"

"Because I can't do a Russian accent to save my life, and I conveniently have someone with a British accent right here!"

"Only if you wake up Matthew first. I need someone else with me if I'm going to have to deal with Alfred."

"What about me?"

"…you're right up there with Alfred."

"Cool!" Then I started looking through Matthew's manual, out of the corner of my eye I saw Arthur face-palm.

"Can you speak French?" I asked.

That set him off, "WHY THE BLOODY HELL WOULD I LEARN THE LECEROUS FROG'S LANUGAGE?"

Then we heard loud laughter coming from America's box just as the box broke.

"Grazie Iggy!"

"You brat! You tricked me!" He yelled at me.

"Yep! You really need to pay more attention to things Iggy."

Then Alfred perked up and said, "yeah Iggy! The chick's right! But….uh…who is she?"

"ALFRED! That's rude! Apologize to her this instant!"

When I saw that Arthur was getting ready to strangle Alfred I jumped in and said to Alfred, "nah, it's cool! I'm Marie. One of your awesome and heroic citizens!"

"AWESOME!" Alfred cried as he high-fived me.

Then Arthur put his head in his hands and starting whining saying, "oh, bloody hell! Now there's two of them!"

"Hey, I don't act like him all the time! I act like Italy and Romano too!" I said smiling. "Does that make you feel better?"

He gave me a you're-an-idiot look and simply said, "No."

"Too bad then!" I chirped and then went back to looking at Matthew's manual.

AS I looked through it my eyes lit up when I saw option 4.

"Hey Al?" I asked Alfred as he turned around to look at me. "Can you help me move your brother's box over to the TV in my neighbor's garage?"

"SURE!" Then he grabbed the box and carried it over.

"Um…what are you doing?" Arthur asked. But when I showed him the manual he stared at me and said, "Wouldn't that destroy their garage?"  
>I smiled back and said, "No clue!" Then I happily skipped over and turned on a hockey game.<p>

Then the box broke into a million pieces (why do those boxes always do that? They need to be made better!) as a hockey-obsessed Canadian broke free and raced to the TV.

"Welp! Since he's now gone to the world…Time for Italy!" Then I started looking through Italy's manual.

"Wow, who knew Italy could be sadistic..Yep! Don't wanna see that! Okay..How to wake him up…I guess I will show restraint and not pull the hair curl…I hate doing the mature thing."

So because I couldn't do the fun one, I borrowed (hey! I'm going to bring it back!) one of my neighbor's portable camping boilers and started boiling the water.

Sure enough after a couple of seconds there was a large pound on the box and then sobbing.

"Hey, you okay in there?" I asked.

"Ve~ I-it's really dark a-and scary in here!"

"Well hold on for a sec! We'll get you out!" But then I realized that the other three had broken out of theirs so I had no clue how to actually open it.

Probably sensing that I was coming up with another bad idea Arthur coughed and said, "You do know that it says 'open on this side', right?"

I looked and saw it. "OH! So it does!" Then I went over and opened it…and was glomped.

"Ve~ grazie for saving me! It was really really scary in there!" Then he let go and said "Ciao! I'm Feliciano Vargas! What's your name?"

"Mine's Marie, the boxer is Sadie, and you probably already know this guy." I said while pointing at each person in turn.

"Si! Of course I do! Ciao Arthur!" Feliciano said as he waved at Arthur.

"Well Alfred and Matthew are here too they're watching a..never mind! Here they come now!"

"Yo Feli! What's up dude!" Alfred cheerfully said with Matthew walking behind him and hold Kumajiro (oh, yeah…I forgot to get him out didn't I?).

"I'm great!" He answered back.

While those two were talking Matthew walked over to me and timidly said, "um..hel-hello. I-I'm Matthew Williams. What's your name?"

"It's Marie! And don't worry about me confusing you with Al! well…except for in the morning when I'm half asleep but let's face it, I'd get Feli and his brother confused with each other then!"

When I said that he did look happier and a little confused.

When I saw that Arthur was getting ready to strangle Alfred, again, I whistled to get their attention and then said, "Welp! Now that introductions are out of the way..TIME FOR PANCAKES AND PASTA! SO LET'S GET CRACKIN'!", while adding a fist pump at the end.

They all had different reactions when I said that. Alfred, Matthew, and Feliciano looked happy…and Arthur looked pissed.

"WHAT? YOU REFUSE TO EAT MY COOKING WHEN I OFFERED IT TO YOU YET YOU DECIDED TO HAVE THEM COOK? AND YOU DON'T EVEN ASK THEM FIRST?" yep..he was pissed.

"oh, right!" Then I turned to Feliciano and Matthew and asked, "hey, you two mind cooking?"

"Ve~ of course I don't! Pasta sounds good!"

"um…yeah…I can make some pancakes. I don't mind."

"And then we're all good! See! No problems Iggy!"

Apparently he did have some problems with it…especially when he started chasing me all around the neighborhood yelling at me.

* * *

><p>Wow, two chapters in and I pissed Iggy off twice (or was it more than that?). AW WELL! Tsunderes are fun to piss off! XD<p>

Review please!


End file.
